Bleeding The Hourglass
by butimbroken
Summary: Buffy/Angel. AU. Angel returns for the funeral of an old friend. In the process, he has to face his ex-girlfriend. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Nope, I don't own a thing... still.**

**Two chapter story, don't worry. Just a fleeting idea was all heh.**

Liam Angelus was a ball of nerves as he drove to the airport. He knew it would only continue to grow from here on out.

He muttered to himself as he drove around, trying to find a parking spot, then got out. He grabbed his bags, locked the car up, and went hurrying to catch a shuttle to the airport itself.

He stepped onto the bus and headed for the back.

He found himself gaining the attention of most of the passengers, the females eyeing him.

He ignored it, staring out the window, trying not to think himself sick.

When they got to their stop, he grabbed his bags up and made his way out the doors. He sighed, continuing on into the large building.

Angel looked around, reading the signs and directions and found which direction he needed to go.

After checking most of his luggage, he walked over and stepped into the long waiting line, holding his ID and ticket tight in his hand. He could hear and see those around him, but he couldn't for the life of him pay any sort of attention.

When the motioned him forward once at the front of the line, he went to man on the left, handed him his information. Once stamped, he continued on. He put his bag up on the belt, taking the small ziplock bag out and placing it separate. He undid his belt, slipped his shoes off, removed everything from his pockets and placed them all in down in the bin with the ziplock.

He watched his items go through and come out the other side before he got a chance to.

Not that he was far behind.

He was told to step forward and did, to spread his legs so and hold his hands as shown. He did, and before he knew it he was asked to step out and forward. There he stood for just a moment, then was free to go collect his things.

He hurried to do so, then stepped off to the side. He took a seat at the bench and began putting his shoes and belt back on. He put his watch back on, and the rest back in his pockets. He put the plastic baggie back into his carry on. He grabbed his ticket out from the pocket he'd placed it in then started on his way again.

Angel arrived at the right terminal, checked the board to make sure he was still at the right one, then took a seat.

As he waited, Angel felt a lot of emotions and memories rush back to him. Some he was grateful to carry with him, some he wished he hadn't experienced in many ways.

Sighing, he reached back into his bag and pulled out a letter. The one he'd received just a few days before. The one responsible for this little trip. He swallowed, taking it out of the envelope, unfolding the pages, and re-reading it yet again.

He did three more times before carefully putting it back.

Then he was back with his memories.

OoOoO

They announced that his plane was being moved to a different gate. Thankfully it wasn't far and in the same section. He just had to zig-zag over to the other side.

They also announced they were running a little behind, but they'd be boarding as soon as possible.

Angel took another seat and waited.

More and more people showed up, closing in on the time to depart.

He was usually one of them, rushing in late. Not this time though. He'd shown up with plenty of time to spare. He didn't want to miss it.

They started boarding before too long. Calling out for those who'd need assistance getting on first, then going from there. When he heard his section called he stood, grabbing his bag and heading over.

He went with the line. A small boy in front of him had run into him, the father apologized, he said it was fine and not to worry.

When he got to the front, he handed his ticket over, it was stamped on again, and he was told to have a nice flight.

They didn't have the jetway set up, so they exited the door and went out into the world, then climbed the steps up.

He flashed the attendants his ticket as he passed, scanning the letters and numbers above the seats as he moved until he found his. His bag was small enough to fit under the seat so he took it with him, stepping past the outside aisle seat to the window one he'd call his own for the next few hours.

Angel slipped his bag down by his feet under the seat before him then buckled himself in. He laid his head against the window and idly the commotion out on the ground.

There was an older woman who sat next to him not too long later. He pulled himself away from the cool glass to look at her and say hello and how she was. Then he returned to the window.

Before long, everyone was on board. They were told to shut off their cell phones, laptops, ect for the time being. When they were at a safe distance, they could turn x device on or x other device. They explained where the exits were, how the oxygen masks worked, how their seats doubled as floating devices. They told them there was a booklet in the pockets of the seats that also showed more information and drawn pictures of what they may expect in an emergency.

They rolled around for what felt like forever, but finally made it to the front of the line. They rolled out onto the runway and began their journey.

OoOoO

Plane friendly devices were allowed back on, you could now put the trays back down, get up and use the restrooms.

It wasn't too long before the two attendants started giving out complimentary beverages to the passengers. Angel asked for a Sprite with lots of ice. They handed him the plastic cup and a napkin. He put the tray down and slowly sipped it the first half of the flight.

When they came back around collection trash, he handed the two items to the woman. He put his tray back up, and let his head fall back to the window.

For almost the entire trip that is all he did, stared out at the clouds, the sky, the land below them.

OoOoO

The pilot announced they were about thirty minutes out. He told them the time and the weather.

Soon, everything started becoming a lot clearer out the window. He could make out houses, pools, cars, roads... a lot easier.

The landed easily. They were told to please stay seated but they could unbuckle themselves and now return to using their phones and such.

Angel sighed, leaning forward. He grabbed his bag and put it in his lap and waited.

Finally, they were allowed out. So everyone began hurrying out.

He thanked the gentleman who let him and the elder woman exit before him, and began following her down the narrow aisle.

Here, they had the walkway set up. For those who hadn't checked their bags but also hadn't been able to take them on as carry on's stood on one side of the hall.

Angel continued walking, pushing the door open into a loud atmosphere of people and noise.

He shifted his bag to the other shoulder and started making his way to baggage claim.

This airport was much larger so it took more time getting around. He was more familiar with it than the one he'd come from however, so he had that working with him.

He made it to the baggage area and waited for his flight's to be released. It took a bit of time but finally they came. He spotted his early and went to get them, then started to head upstairs.

Angel found a place to sit and did so, putting his bags on the floor before him. He rubbed his eyes and pulled out his cell phone.

He hadn't called this number in many years now, but he knew it by heart.

OoOoO

Angel knew he probably shouldn't have called her. At least not to come pick him up. He knew she was still hours away. He knew she had a lot to deal with. He knew he could have easily found another way there.

But he called anyway.

And she came. As he knew she would.

Angel hadn't seen her in almost five years. He hadn't spoken to her in four. He'd thought about her every single day, though.

OoOoO

It was late when she showed up. His flight had been well into the afternoon, then there was the flight itself, then waiting for her to make it out here. By the time she did, the place was almost deserted.

Angel's leg bounced up and down and he fought the urge to shake all over.

And at the first glance of her, it didn't get any easier, he didn't get any calmer. Though he did his damnedest to make it seem that way.

Buffy was walking around, her head turning about as she scanned the area. When she saw him, she stopped for a moment. Seemingly to catch her own breath. Then she forced a smile and started walking towards him.

He was standing by the time she reached him.

"Buffy," he greeted.

"Angel. I'm so glad you came," she told him softly.

He nodded. "Sorry to drag you out here."

She shook her head. "Don't be. It was nice to get out of there for awhile."

The two just stood there, silent, staring. It felt like an eternity had passed.

"Are you ready to go?" she finally spoke. "I'm not parked too far away."

He started reaching down for his things. "Yeah. I'm ready."

OoOoO

Angel's eyes were glued to her hand as they walked through the airport and then out to the parking area. More specifically, they were glued to the big rock on her finger.

"You can put your things in the trunk or in the back," Buffy told him as they reached the car.

She unlocked it and he put his bags in the back seat. He shut the door and climbed up front.

She was already in the driver's seat.

She stopped at a gas station near the airport. They filled on gas and each had got some quick snacks and energy drinks for the rest of the trip.

Then they were back on the road.

OoOoO

Both were silent for the longest time. Angel was back to staring mostly at her sign of marriage, though when he did glance around the old car, he saw a few others.

If Buffy noticed, she didn't comment or call him on it.

When she finally did speak, she asked him how he had known what'd happened.

He sighed, looking away. "She wrote me a letter. I hadn't spoken to her in years. She'd sent it to my parents, though they said they hadn't heard from her either. I guess she found them somehow, and the letter went there. My parents forwarded it to me but by the time I got it, it was too late. I made a few calls and found that out. Then, to pay my respects and everything... hopped on a plane, thankful I could at least make it to this."

Buffy nodded. "I hadn't known she'd done that."

"Sounded like she had known it wouldn't be long."

Another nod. "I think she did."

After that, conversation continued... fairly easily. They asked about family, work, where they were living these days, touched on what they each had been up to in the past four years.

Words were said, but it was as if nothing was really coming out.

When they finally passed the city limit's sign, he told her what hotel he had a room booked at.

She nodded, and began heading in that direction. "How long are you in town for?"

"Just for the funeral. Then, I'm flying out again."

"Seems like a lot of luggage for that."

"Not flying home, not yet. Have another stop to make along the way."

"Oh. Gotcha."

It wasn't long before they got there. She left the car running as they sat in front of the manager's office.

"If you need anything..." he trailed off, taking his safety belt off.

"I will. Thank you."

He reached for the car door. "It was nice seeing you," he whispered, then stepped out. He got his bags then waved at her, going toward the building.

She was gone when he came out with his room key.

OoOoO

Angel found it hard to go to sleep, but once he did, h was surprised he slept until noon.

He got up, showered, walked to get something to eat, then found something to get him around.

Most of his day was spent aimlessly driving, or watching television at the hotel.

When evening tie rolled around, he dug through his bags and went to change.

OoOoO

The visitation had started about an hour before he arrived.

Angel headed inside the funeral home, found the right room. He signed the guest book outside in the hall, then went inside.

Angel looked around the room. There were a mixture of people he knew, and one's he didn't. Some had reacted to seeing him, though he didn't care. He saw there were flowers by the dozens already delivered up at the front of the room. He saw Buffy and her family in the front pew to one side talking with other's who'd com out tonight.

Angel saw the large casket and the enormous framed picture of the woman inside of it.

Angel sighed, starting his way to the front. His eyes met Buffy's as he passed the front pew but he continued on.

Angel stepped up to the casket and sighed loudly as he looked down at Dawn Summers.


	2. Chapter 2

Angel had a flood of memories and feelings hit him as he looked down at the younger Summers child. He couldn't believe how much she had grown over the past several years. He couldn't believe she'd never get older now, either.

He and Dawn had always been close for as long as he could remember. Until he and her sister split, anyway.

He could hardly believe her young life was taken from her. He'd watched her get sick, get better, and repeat many times... but there was still no preparing for this.

OoOoO

Angel forced himself away. He turned around, sucked in a breath, and walked over to the fallen girl's family.

Joyce sat on the edge, Buffy was holding her hand. Parker sat beside her. Then was Hank's new wife, someone half his age, and then Hank himself.

Angel bent to hug Joyce, who let go of her daughter's hand to grab him and hold him tight. "Thank you for coming," she whispered, crying harder.

Angel kissed the older woman's hair. "Of course I came, Joyce. And I am so, so sorry," he told her softly.

"She'd be so glad you were here."

Angel pulled back. "I'm just sorry I wasn't here earlier."

Joyce continued to hold his hand.

"Is there anything I can for you, Joyce?"

She shook her head. "Just stay for a little while, if you can."

He bent to hug her again. "Of course."

OoOoO

Angel stayed until about thirty minutes until the visitation was meant to be over. He took a seat on the other row of pews, sat in the middle-back. People from his past would float in, some saying hi, others sitting down to talk for a few minutes. But for the most part, he was left alone with his memories.

When he did get ready to leave, he wanted to let them know but there was a big group gathered around the family. Buffy had noticed him though, and silently the message was told. She whispered into Joyce's ear, who then turned to wave at him.

He returned with one of his own, gave Buffy another look, then turned around and left.

OoOoO

That night, Angel found he couldn't fall asleep again. He paced around the hotel room, several times over, tried to read, tried to watch some random things on the tv, but he gave up. Sighing, he grabbed his jacket from one of his bags and went to go drive around for awhile.

It had sprinkled just a bit earlier. Everything had a nice, wet shine to it.

Angel drove around town, not really caring of what roads he took or what direction he'd go in next. He stopped to get a cup of coffee and a donut, then drove some more.

He ended up a little outside of town, pulling into the large parking lot of the fairgrounds. He wasn't exactly surprised to see another car it the lot, nor find her seated on a bench just outside of the gate.

Angel sighed, parking his rental. He got out, locked it up, then walked over to her. Buffy's head turned and she looked up at him, but nothing was said. He sat down beside her and reached for her gloved hand and they just sat there.

OoOoO

Angel didn't know how long they'd sat there, but the sun started to rise, and they remained.

"She loved it here," Buffy finally spoke.

Angel nodded.

"Every time, it was like the first with her. From the screaming, the joy of riding the rides, walking around... just taking it all in, the look on her face when you gave her cotton candy... it was always... just pure joy."

Angel felt tears stinging his eyes. He knew exactly what she was talking about. He'd seen it, more times than he could count.

"She missed you, you know," Buffy spoke again after another long bout of silent sat between them.

"I missed her too. I thought about... many times... it just never felt right."

Buffy looked down at her hands. "That's what she'd say. She missed you before that though, too. When you'd be away. She always did."

He remained silent.

"I'm never going to see her after today," Buffy whispered. She began crying and Angel wrapped his arms around her.

OoOoO

"I should go, get ready for everything."

Angel nodded, joining her in standing.

"I'll see you in a few hours then?"

"Yeah. I'll be there."

"Okay."

"Okay."

OoOoO

Angel had a hard time still falling asleep, but he managed to sneak in a few hours.

When he woke, he dressed for the funeral, then went to the diner across the parking lot to grab something to eat before heading back to the funeral home.

He felt his left hand start to shake as he went through the door, re-entering the room from the night before. He clenched and unclenched it several times.

There were tons of people already here. Music was playing. The number of flowers had tripled, at least. He could see his at the end of the casket.

Angel took several deep breaths as he walked by the pews again, and on up to where the young lady's body slept. He had tears falling as he looked at her.

"Hey, again, Dawnie," he whispered.

OoOoO

The ceremony was nice he thought.

Joyce had insisted he sit in the row behind them.

A video had played over Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" of Dawn and her family. For once, he didn't mind the Titanic theme. The photos left not a single dry eye in the room.

Beautiful words were spoken, songs were played. Goodbyes were said.

They went to the cemetery in a long train. Police had even escorted them.

It was cloudy, but the rain didn't fall.

The casket was closed as it sat, awaiting to be lowered.

More words from the preacher were said. The family all put a single rose on top of the casket. Dawn's best friend, Janice, grabbed a handful of dirt as her friend started to go.

Halfway down, Joyce had let out a strangled cry. Angel had barely made it to her in time before she hit the ground. He held her as she screamed for her baby.

OoOoO

It all seemed like a blur to him from there.

He held Joyce, even lowered both of their bodies to the ground, keeping his arms around her. She screamed, she cried. She cursed God. Her hands slapped at him, the gripped him. She cried until her voice was raw.

Parker had helped him get her back to the car when it finally felt right.

He'd left, ended up back in the hotel room somehow. He didn't quite remember.

Angel stared at the walls, feeling numb. Seeing her... for the last time... it hit him harder than he'd even thought. It made all more real somehow.

OoOoO

Angel woke up to knocking on his door. He woke up, rubbed his eyes. He was sideways across the bed. He didn't remember falling asleep.

The knocking came again so he forced himself up to answer it.

Buffy stood on the other side. She was drenched and muddy. The two stared at one another for several minutes before he stepped out of the way to let her in.

Angel shut the door, then turned. Buffy stood in the middle of the room, dripping.

"She looked beautiful."

Angel leaned against the door. "She did. She always did."

"Mom's falling apart."

"Can't blame her for that," he said softly.

"I'm trying to be strong for her."

"Nobody expects you to be, Buffy. You lost her, too."

Buffy remained silent. Just standing. Then she crossed the room to go use the bathroom.

Angel knew something bad was going to happen.

And sure enough, when she finally came back out, Buffy's wet and dirty clothes were no longer on her body. Instead, she was wrapped in one of the towels from the bathroom.

Angel looked away from her. "There's a laundry facility somewhere here. I can go put your clothes in the wash if you want. I have some extra clothes, too, if you want to put something on in the mean time."

Buffy tucked a strand of hair behind her ear then stepped forward. She was biting her lip as she got closer.

When she reached the bed, she untucked the towel and let it pool down to the floor.

"Buffy."

She climbed onto the bed.

"What are you doing?"

"Come here," she whispered.

"I can't do that."

"Yes you can. Come here."

He wasn't joking. His legs wouldn't let him.

Buffy climbed back off of the bed and walked over to him. Her hands slid up his shirt, began unbuttoning it. She slid it off of his shoulders, down the ground. Next, she began on his belt.

Before he knew, Angel stood naked before her.

"You're married now, Buf," he reminded, her hand reaching back out to him.

"He's not what I need right now, Angel."

"We can't do this."

Buffy kissed him. She started tugging him towards the large bed.

Angel knew better, he knew he'd never recover if he went with her, but he also couldn't help himself at the chance.

OoOoO

She was gone when he woke up. She was, her things were. There was hardly a sign she'd been there.

He wasn't ready to face the day, or himself, just yet so he closed his eyes and let sleep take him under once more.

The next time he woke up, he stood, went to the bathroom, showered and got dressed. He repacked his things, returned the key to the managers office, grabbed a quick something to eat.

Angel drove through the cemetery but didn't go in. He could see the area where Dawn had been laid to rest from the graveled road. He sat staring at it, saying another silent goodbye to the young girl.

Checking his watch, Angel knew he needed to go. He had a flight to catch.

But on his way, he ended up taking the opposite direction.

OoOoO

"I need to talk to you," he said once the door opened.

She swallowed then stepped back.

"I think this needs to be more of a private discussion."

"Nobody else is here, Angel. It's just me right now."

He hesitated then entered.

"Are you here to tell me last night was a mistake?"

Angel looked around. It was slightly different in here than he'd remembered from years before.

His eyes landed on several framed photos of Buffy and Parker.

"Why did you do it?"

"I already told you... I just... last night..."

"No. Not last night."

"Oh."

"Why did you leave me?"

"Let's not do this, please?"

"I don't deserve to know?"

"It doesn't matter now, Angel. What's done is done."

"It matters to me. I've spent years wondering."

"Why?"

"Why? Because I was in love with you. Because I was planning to spend my life with you. I got sent off overseas and the only good thing I had to look forward to was as soon as my boot touched back down on US soil, I was coming home, for good, to you. You and me were going to get married, start a life, have a huge family. And you just suddenly decided to take that away from me. And I never knew why or what the fuck I'd done."

"You didn't do anything."

"Then why?"

She sighed.

"You and me were happy, Buf. We survived deployment before. It was hard. Me being stationed out of state was hard. But I did my damnedest to make this work. You know I did. And this was the last of it. I was going to come home, be free to live our life. You'd be out of school, I'd have money saved up, I'd go back to school. We had a plan."

"I know."

"I wrote to you. Just about every day. I sent you presents home whenever I could. I called you any time that I could. Then, one day, out of the goddamn blue, I'm calling my girl. She answers and tells me that it's over. She ignores me as I call and call her, email her, write to her. A month and a half later of stalking the piss out of her, she tells me again it's over. She tells me I need to get over it and move on. She tells me to move on because she has. She asks me to leave her alone. I don't listen. I continue to try and get in contact with her any which way I can. Fuck, I have my parents get involved. You won't ever answer me but they... they find out the whole story. You sure as fuck were moved on alright. You were already engaged, and then on down the aisle two months later. So excuse me, but yes it still bothers me. I don't know what the hell happened."

"It was a complicated time, Angel."

"You think that I don't know that? You think it wasn't for me too?"

"That's not what I'm saying."

Angel sighed, running a hand down his face. He leaned down until he was sitting on the stairs. "Just tell me, Buf. Please?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Angel."

"Why did you leave me?"

"Because... I was lonely. And you weren't here. And someone else was. Is that what you want to hear?"

"How long were you seeing him? After I left? Before?"

"After. I only even met him after."

"What happened, Buf?"

She sighed, sliding down the wall to the floor. "I don't know. Angel, I was young. I was still even in high school. You and me... we've been together as long as I can remember. I don't even know how we got together, I'd just been your girlfriend for forever. My first memory that I can bring up is of you and me. You'd been half of my life, half of me. And then you joined up... and you weren't there anymore. And it was hard. Really hard. Especially this last time, though I don't know why. Maybe because I'd gotten used to you being gone. Maybe it was things with my age. Maybe it was how long you were going to be gone. I just... I missed you. And I needed to live a little. I wanted to be distracted. I wanted to go out and have fun, not sit by the phone night after night in case you might call. I didn't want to stare at the television all day and night wondering about you, worrying about you. I didn't want to be sick and dazed all day as all I could think about was you."

He set his jaw. "Okay. Fine. You wanted to sew some wild oats. You were having a hard time. Why not just tell me that?"

"Because I felt ashamed about it."

"It was hard. And I know it had to be on you. But we could have worked it out."

"Maybe."

"And a maybe wasn't even good enough to even chance it? And hell, Buf. Fine, you wanted to try something else out for awhile. Okay. Did you have to marry the douchebag?"

"Things just happened, Angel. One day I met him. He spent weeks chasing me. It felt nice. To be chased, not just had. And it just kept spiraling into one thing after another. And he was like you in a lot of ways... with the sweet gestures, the showing up at midnight, the jokes. And he was here. And it felt nice. And I was stupid."

"He make you happy?" he asked after a long pause.

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes?" he asked with a snort.

"Yeah. Sometimes."

"So glad you threw us away from someone who makes you 'sometimes' happy. Such a smart choice that was, Summers."

"She hated me because of it. Dawn did. God, you know how much she loved you. She'd spent the last few years telling me how much of a mistake I made when it came to you. Hell, that last thing she said to me was related to it. Of how I should have never hurt you."

OoOoO

Angel's hand floated above the doorknob.

"You made the wrong choice. You came to me last night, Buffy."

"I know," she whispered.

"He's not what you want. He never will be. He never even was. And you know that. You should have waited for me. I would have given you the fucking world."

"I know," she repeated.

"Dawn wrote me a letter. She told me she didn't have long. Her dying wish was for me to forgive you. And I wish to hell and back that I could."

"Angel..."

"Maybe I will someday. Maybe I'll find it in me to. But that day isn't today. I do wish you the best, Buffy. I still believe you deserve it, even after all you've done. Maybe I'm not the one for you, but I would have tried. Parker's not. Maybe someone else is out there. But you need to cut this settling for less than you deserve shit out. He either gets on the ball or you leave him, you understand? You don't get to go on having left me for this bullshit. You leave me, you had better make it the best thing this word has ever seen for it."

With that, Angel opened the door and headed for the rental car.

OoOoO

"Is it too late?"

Angel sighed, shutting the door he'd just opened. "For what?"

"Y..you."

He sighed again. He placed his hands up on the hood of the car and leaned his head down. "I told you I would wait until the end of time for you. So far, that still remains true."

"And if I ask you to stop?"

Angel sighed. For a second there, he almost had hope.

"I have to go, Buffy. I'm going to be late."


End file.
